My client had failed to make her art.
At least, she called it failure. She had nothing in the month since our last coaching conversation. Indeed, her studio was full of boxes and there was so much stuff to be sorted that she couldn’t work even if she’d wanted to.
A close relative had died, and it had fallen to her to settle his estate. At the same time, her father had suffered a life-threatening illness and she had gone to stay with her parents to support them through his treatment.
Life rarely hands us such challenges at convenient times, well-spaced apart. So there had been a host of other time and energy-sucking incidents, from a friend needing to stay with her for a while to extreme weather and unexpected home repairs.
Far from achieving nothing, she’d dealt with it all with strength and grace, and even managed some laughter. I found it hard to see that as failure.
She had planned to make new work.
And we’d scheduled a session to discuss that, and how to get it out into the world. Instead, we talked about concentrating on recovery and self-care, then preparing for her dad’s next round of tests and treatment. About clearing the studio and finding space to explore the new direction she was considering, without the pressure of imminent deadlines.
It wasn’t the session I’d thought we were going to do that day. It wasn’t the plan she’d hoped for, or wanted. But it was what she needed. It was also a fine illustration of the flexibility we all need, in our creative lives.
Because stuff happens.
“Life,” John Lennon famously said, “is what happens to you when you’re busy making other plans.”
The time, energy and attention you have to give to your creative work will ebb and flow, over a lifetime. Other commitments and obligations will inevitably get in the way. Relationships come and go. Technology changes. You change, as you age and learn.
There will be illness, accidents, death and new life. And there will always be emails to answer, repairs to do, kitchens to clean, food to cook, taxes to pay, unexpected demands.
Two brilliant creatives – both new mums – also asked, in workshops I’ve given recently, about keeping your career on track when your children are small. I’m currently entering a different phase of life, when elder-care comes to the fore: my mum is 86, my mum-in-law 91. Just as our son became independent, they needed us far more.
Here’s what helps.
Accept that time is limited. It won’t always be this way. But this is where you are, right now. So you need to be strategic in where you spend the time, energy and attention you do have.
Consider what you need most from your work right now.
If it’s income…
Focus on the easier wins. The work that brings in reliable money, while ideally also giving you the flexibility you need to get through your other challenges.
It might feel frustrating not to be moving forward creatively, but remember that this too shall pass. And keep note of the ideas you want to explore when there is more opportunity. Nothing will be lost, then. It’s just been postponed.
If it’s creative growth..
Take some play dates. Schedule guilt-free time to explore, to try new things without needing them to bear fruit quickly. And protect this time fiercely, treating it as you would an important freelance job.
This might seem indulgent when times are tough. But it might also be exactly what you need to get through it gracefully. Life’s changes and challenges can often inspire new insights or exciting new directions in your work, if you give them space to unfold.
If it’s growing your business..
Be realistic about how much time you have, and what can be done in that time. It won’t be everything you want to do, so focus on the areas that are likely to give you the best results.
Even with just hour a week, you can make substantial progress over time. as long as you don’t overwhelm yourself by trying to do all of the things at once. You won’t create a new website or update your old one in a couple of hours, for instance. But you can write a new About page. Then move on to the next small task on your list.
It is easier to swim with the current than against it.
Life happens, to all of us. We don’t get a choice in that, but we do get to choose how we respond, in the moment. Instead of fighting your situation, flow with it. Focus on what you can control – and let go of the rest.
Enjoy your young children, because they grow fast. Spend time with elders who need you, while you still can. If you need to pause a project or extend a deadline while you deal with a curveball, do that. if there are clients, collaborators or other stakeholders, communicate clearly about what is happening, and let them know what you will be able to do and when.
Then stop beating yourself up and consider how to get through the situation with as much ease, grace and creativity as possible. (And yes, it’s OK to find it frustrating at times. You’re only human, after all.)
So take extra care of yourself.
When you’re going through change and disruption, it’s important prioritise self-care and to build in more time for rest and recovery. (This doesn’t always mean doing nothing, by the way. Here are seven ways to rest.) Then you’ll be much more efficient, focussed, and creative when you do get the chance to work.
Whatever challenges life throws your way, they’re material for your art, opportunities to learn and grow.
Life isn’t a race, it’s a journey. Nor is it linear. It’s full of twists and turns. So move at your own speed. And enjoy each moment as much as you can.
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