How to be happy

Happiness is not something ready-made. It comes from your own actions.”

– the Dalai Lama

First, a question. What really makes you happy? 

Don’t overthink this. Just make a list, really quickly, of 10–20 simple, everyday things that give you pleasure. It will be different each time you do it, and that’s fine.

Here’s my happiness list, for today:

1. Long road trips with my husband, with good music on the car stereo, and loads of time to talk
2. Dinner with friends
3. Fresh flowers
4. Watching the film Zoolander with my son
5. The smell of freshly baked bread
6. Feeding my chickens, and watching them scratch and strut happily round the yard. 
7. Crisp, fresh bed linen
8. The music of Aretha Franklin or Nina Simone
9. A walk along the beach, or in the woods
10. Sitting down to read a good book
11. Watching the sunset
12. A long soak in a scented bath
13. Eating a ripe peach, or a handful of raspberries
14. Candlelight
15. A phone chat with my friend Susie, who lives 2000 miles away, but makes me laugh more than anyone
16. Visiting a beautiful garden with my mum
17. Going to the cinema alone, in the afternoon
18. An inspiring art exhibition
19. Dancing
20. A real fire, indoors or out.

Now, the really important question. When did you last do any of these things? 

Is it a day, a week, a month, a year — or longer? You might be surprised how long you’ve been depriving yourself of simple things that make you smile.

Happiness isn’t about what you own, what you earn, where you live or how successful you are.

It’s about the small choices you make, every day.

Call that friend. Walk home the slightly longer way, through the park. Smile at a stranger. Play music, and dance round the kitchen while making dinner.

Be grateful for what you already have, and enjoy it. That’s how to be happy.

We can all decide to be aware, and savour the moment. To take a few minutes to really enjoy what we’re doing and be present for it, instead of lost in our own thoughts and stories about the past, or the future.

You may find it’s been a while since you did some — maybe even all — of the things on your list. So turn off the TV, put down your phone, and do something you love instead. There’s bound to be something on your list that is free, easy and available to you now, or tonight.

Here’s how to be happy.

Making this list today made me realise it’s been a while since our last road trip. And longer still since I’ve sneaked out in the middle of the day to watch a movie alone. It also inspired me to drive with some friends to a pub with glorious views, to watch the sunset together last night.

But mainly, it made me realise I owe Susie a phone call, and that I need to be more mindful. I must have fed the chickens this morning, for instance, but I didn’t take that extra moment to really see them happily cluck about, and remember it. 

Happiness is a choice. And it’s ours, whenever we want it.