Ryan Holiday is a prolific writer, author, thinker and creator. Back in 2022, when Twitter was still a pleasant place to exchange ideas, he tweeted nine short rules for a better life. You can read those here.
A year later, polymath and sage Kevin Kelly published his book Excellent Advice For Living, which offers exactly what the title suggests: the wisdom of a lifetime, in bite-sized pieces.
All of which started me thinking about my own principles for a good life.
I can be a slow learner. Music and books have always been a big part of my life, but some of the guidelines below are things I stumbled on much later. I really wish I’d known them earlier, so I’m sharing them here.
And I’d love to know your own guidelines, if you have them. Feel free to share them in the comments!
1. Pay yourself first.
Now that I have built up savings for emergencies, 10% of everything I earn goes into a separate account to spend and enjoy, guilt-free.
More importantly, I do this with time as well as money. The first hour of every working day is spent writing, and working on my personal projects. Even when I have deadlines.
It means I’m always moving forward with the personal projects I really want to do, as well as the work I do to pay the bills.
2. Keep it simple, make it fun.
Like most creatives, I tend to over-complicate things. I let perfectionism get in the way, and I often make things much harder than they need to be.
Now, I try to keep things simple by asking these two questions constantly:
- How could this be easier?
- How could it be more fun?
3. Replace judgement with curiosity.
Kindness costs nothing. It’s easy to judge others, and ourselves. Instead, try to examine why you’re feeling that way, what’s really going on underneath.
Ask questions, get curious. See if there are other narratives, other stories you could tell about whatever you’re noticing or feeling.
Judgement tends to be rigid, fixed, inflexible. Curiosity is more open, more fun – and ultimately much more useful.
4. Read, every day.
Books are my escape, my education. They’re magical.
By reading you can time travel, and get advice from thinkers who have been dead for hundreds, even thousands of years.
Reading enables you to live other lives, see the world through different eyes, visit every place in existence. As well as plenty more that only ever existed in the author’s imagination.
Looking for inspiration? Here are my favourite books for writers and for creatives in general.
5. Keep learning and growing.
The alternative is becoming stale, stagnant, rigid. And who wants that?
6. Schedule regular check-ins with yourself.
Whatever it is you’re trying to do, track your results. Assess your strategies, and see if they’re still working for you. Adjust when needed.
It’s easy to sleepwalk through life. To keep doing the same thing, even though it’s not getting the results you want.
So take time each week/month to step back and assess how you’re doing, what’s working and what’s not, and to check that you’re moving in the direction you want. Do this with principle 3 in mind: this isn’t about beating yourself up; it’s about gentle curiosity.
Tiny course adjustments add up to huge differences, over time.
7. We become the people we spend most time with.
So seek out friends who are smarter, kinder, happier, more interesting than you.
Avoid toxic people, dreamshitters and serial complainers. Instead connect with humans who inspire you, introduce you to new ideas, make you laugh. If they believe anything is possible, eventually you will too.
Struggling to find other creatives on the same journey? You might want to try my group coaching programme: 10 weeks, in which you’ll be in a virtual room discussing creative process with a group of 10-12 creative professionals. (And me, of course.) Next one starts on 7 October 2025.
8. Focus on what you can control
Instead of shouting at the TV screen or at strangers on social media, focus on your own behaviour. Your own tiny corner of the world. The things you can change. The areas where you can make a difference.
Paradoxically, the more you do this, the wider your influence grows.
9. Cultivate a sense of awe and wonder
We live on an extraordinary planet, surrounded by beauty and full of complex, fascinating humans. We’re here for just 4000 weeks, on average. But every day could be our last. So enjoy it!
Take time to watch the sunset, to really look at a tree, to laugh with a friend or play with a child. And remember how fortunate we all are, to be having this experience.
We all forget, at times. But the more you manage to stay aware of this, the richer life gets.
(If you need help with this, I heartily recommend Katherine May’s book, Enchantment.)
10. Create something, every day.
A meal. A flower arrangement. A joke. A social media post that might genuinely help others, rather than just adding to the noise. Or get down some words, some sketches, a few chords of a new song.
Compounded over time, this will add up to more than you could ever imagine.
11. Music makes everything better.
Household chores. Exercise. Boring admin. There’s very little that can’t be improved by putting on some music.
For you it might be Metallica, or Mozart. For me, a soundtrack of house music or classic soul makes me finish the most mundane and tedious of tasks with a smile.
12. In case of emergency..
When feeling stuck, low, grey or uninspired: try sleeping.
If that’s not possible, go for a walk. Preferably out in nature, but round the block will do.
And if there’s no time for any of that, take a few deep breaths, consciously let go of tension in your body, then smile. It’s often all you need to shift gears.
Now over to you. What are your rules for a better life?
What do you think?